Social Media and Self Worth

 There used to be a little electronic place in which you could express yourself to the world. A custom song would play to match the tone of your custom décor. This electronic haven was called MySpace. Many of you may remember the MySpace days. It was the beginning of a new era, a recreation of the world as a digital society. I remember my friends who were enrolled in college discussing this “MySpace for college kids” called Facebook. I wanted on it so badly. There was only one problem, I was not in college and it was exclusive to college students only. The day it opened to the general public I excitedly joined and connected with my friends, past and present. Strangely, the world of social media continued to be one of varying degrees of inclusion and exclusion. Since the emergence of Facebook as a dominant online presence, social media has both changed and changed the world. The inevitable exposure to social media outlets one encounters is also a general exposure to good and bad and desirable and repugnant qualities humans exhibit. Now there are so many different outlets of expression- Instagram, Twitter, Periscope, Snap Chat- that keeping up with them can consume more time than the actual socialization that they are supposed to encourage.  

  Now, as I become a mother to a little girl, I also become more acutely aware of the dark side of social media. More studies are showing the negative effects that it has on young people, particularly girls. There are many stories of young girls taking their own life due to cyber bullying, girls struggling with eating disorders, girls trying to emulate the carefully orchestrated celebrity pictures published on their feed, or indiscriminately sharing their body digitally with anyone who ask via the “nude selfie”.  There are also indications of higher rates of depression in heavy social media users.  These issues exploded in growth with every new platform and technology. Unfortunately, society has not caught up in their understanding of the social media phenomenon yet. Studies are just being done and, slowly, more people are reading about the negatives that are emerging as well. I am one of these people.

 I did not have social media growing up. Facebook was not apart of my life until I was twenty years old. In Jr. High we had pagers that slowly and painfully evolved into cell-phones, flip phones to be specific. Our world was much more immediate and localized. Unlike today, the physical interactions had were much more important than the online ones.  Much more was learned over a bonfire than over a home page.

  Now I am not going to call the days of pagers and bonfires the “good old days”, but I will say that while the emergence of the universal online community has had some tremendous benefit, the negative aspects that were apart of the localized and physical social interactions have intensified greatly. Social media enforces carefully constructed illusions of reality that heavily and cheerfully orient themselves around looks and sexuality. A disappointing number of influential ladies of our time are not portraying true beauty and grace. Instead, much of the social media presence of women are anchored around their appearance, their sexuality, and their status, While all these things are a valid part of our lives, their magnification on social media has, wrongly, turned them into the defining characteristics of many women. This wave of image and images (both of which are carefully orchestrated to benefit the few) often contributes to feelings of worthlessness, ugliness, and hopelessness.  These feelings, which everyone encounters on occasion, become “truth” for some young women, and a false truth is no truth at all.

     My desire for those who are impacted negatively by social media is that real community alternatives are in places that allow you to see your real value. Knowing life through healthy relationships that have a powerful offline presence is vital to your well-being. At the point I decided to make changes in my life, I started with the people I was around. I changed my friends and my environment. These changes impacted me greatly. I found that I could control who I was by controlling whom I surrounded myself with. When I discovered my value in Christ, I believed it, and I surrounded myself with people who believed it with me. This had more of an impact on my life than anything. This is why Christ emphasized community. Its purpose is to remind us of who we are while simultaneously helping us to become who we are supposed to be.  There are many local churches and non-profit organizations in communities that encourage real, values oriented connection. A good church and good organization realizes that life is not centered on a selfie, but around the love we show one another.

 The selfie is a great word to describe the most popular thing found on social media, because it reflects the true nature of the problems encountered with social media- the focus on the self. When your life is consumed with self, it become near impossible to identify with others. Ironically, the more obsessed you are with self, the more likely it is you will have a distorted notion of what self really means. Even the word “self” is only understood in relation to “others”. Stepping out of the parameters of self will help change your life drastically. I will never forget a time I was struggling with identity and self worth. I made a point to start doing things for others. I started visiting a nursing home every Wednesday. I would sit with those who have been forgotten, those who had experienced loss and love many times over, those who had memories of times and events I could not conceive. We would read together and I would do bible study and worship with them. I would paint a lot of the elderly women’s nails. The more I did this, the less my focus was “self”. Yet, living a life to help others even in the smallest ways helped to shift my value and self worth to a greater place. By spending meaningful time with others, I realized how much value I actually had. So I want to encourage those who may find themselves caught in the deceptions of the self that are perpetuated by social media. My encouragement is a reminder that you are truly valuable in Christ, a reminder that goes beyond a simple Christian statement and passes into an eternal truth. Surround yourself with those who believe that truth. Give of yourself to others and help them to be reminded of that truth as well through acts of love and kindness. If you are struggling keep the following in mind-

1.Change your environment.

(1 Corinthians 15:33) “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”

Get involved in a local church, around people who can be a good example to you in life.

2. Start living your life to help others.

(Philippians 2:4) “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

In closing, us girls have to stick together. I believe in you, and am praying for you in every way!

Love in Christ,

Rachel